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March 22, 2014

THE SONY OPEN, OR WAITING FOR ROGER (WITH UPDATE)

Today I went to the Sony Open tennis tournament on Key Biscayne, because (a) it's a great way to spend the day, and (b) it's basically the only chance I have to see Mrs. Blog, who's the Miami Herald's tennis writer. Here's the stadium court, starting to fill up for the day. If you look closely, you can see two people in shorts whacking the ball back and forth, which is the very essence of tennis.

Stadium Court
 

As you can probably tell by viewing this photo with a microscope, the particular match was between "Stanislas" (on the left) (or the right) and "Warwinka." The final score was approximately  6-9, 7-16, $43.57, 3.14159265359 (I do not totally understand tennis scoring).

But a lot of the action is on the outskirts of the tournament.  Mrs. Blog and I wandered over to one of the practice courts, where we encountered a large crowd that was convinced Roger Federer (Roger Federer!) was going to come there to practice. This rumor -- Roger is coming! -- circulated constantly, drawing more and more people; the crowd filled the grandstands and crowded along the fence clutching cameras, giant tennis balls and Sharpies, hoping an autograph from Roger. (Roger!)

  Waiting for Roger

Mrs. Blog and I stood there for 40 minutes waiting for Roger, and despite the heat and humidity and occasional wafting b.o. fumes it was totally worth the wait, because finally, some people came around the corner, and sure enough, none of them was Roger. (Roger!)

Not Roger

 These people went on to the court and commenced whacking the ball. Meanwhile the crowd, sensing that Roger (Roger!) was not coming, streamed out.

Streaming out

We wandered over to another court, where a player named Marcos Baghdatis had just finished practicing and was signing autographs for fans, of whom there were not that many because, for all his talent, he is not Roger (Roger!).

Marcos Baghdatis

There are many things to do here aside from watch tennis. You can eat and drink, for example.

Soft Beverages

 Also you can shop and visit booths providing information on various things such as Thailand.

Thailand

To be honest, I don't know why Thailand set up a booth here. Maybe they heard Roger (Roger!) was in the area.

I did see a couple of disturbing things at the Sony Open. For one thing, there appears to be rampant gender discrimination.

Ballpersons

I think the politically correct term is "Persons of Ball."

Also apparently the Russians have invaded Key Biscayne.

Troops

But other than that, it's a wonderful event. (Roger!) 

UPDATE:

After I wrote this report, we encountered some fans wearing the Miami version of sensible footwear:

Shoes

After I left, Mrs. Blog was walking back to the media center. As she passed the player parking lot, she saw a small knot of very excited fans. Guess who was there, graciously posing for selfies:

Roger and Selfie

 

Comments

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Roger that. At least you have pi. The 'soft beverage' sign is disturbing, though. And I'd take a sharpie to that "Ballpersons only" sign. Make it say "Baldpersons only." We promise not to tell, and Michelle would have her story about not letting the "hair-orists" win.

Wouldn't it have been great if this Roger had shown up instead of Federer? It's too bad those large tennis balls aren't regulation. That would really help my game a lot.

i love how the names of tennis players are all partial sentences -
'specially in my long islandese ;)

'Stanislas' = Stan is last on line.

'Warwinka' = Wha rink a you skatin' on today, yose guys?

'Roger Federer' = Has Roger fed 'er, er is she gonna eat later?

'Marcos Baghdatis' = Mark 'os bag dat is, sos we can return it to 'im later.

So your not a ball person huh. Good picture Dave. Looks like nice weather there

Roger (Roger!) Ramjet He's our man, hero of our nation. Love (Love!) is all you need. Even if you have nothing to eat. Or no purpose in life. Said the Joker (Joker!) to the thief.

Where is Jimmy (Hotpants!) Conners when you speak of Roger (Roger!) and the large scale scheme of the pro tennis world?

You could make a movie called "Roger and Me"

Maybe Roger (Roger!) is hiding in the "Ballpersons Only" room.

Was there a ballesspersons room?

One time I went to a tennis match and a tennis brawl broke out.

First, kudos on accuracy: "3.14159265359". I like my pi that way, even though I've lived in Indiana.

Second, why is Roger taking pictures in a minimum security prison?

Third, why was Drogo, leader of the Dothraki, signing autographs in that picture without being on top of a horse? Is it already in the locker room washing up?

Not a tennis person. Who is this Roger(!), again?

The Thailand operation was there looking for a large airplane without Roger(Roger!) in it (I hope!) and which is also trying to secede from Spain which is on the Crimean peninsula not far from pi. Those shoes lead to foot faults.

I would have gladly waited for Roger, but if Rafael was there I would have waited naked (which wouldn't have been pretty). He is the bomb. I'm a total tennis freak and I actually understand the scoring.

Roger (Roger!) made me a tennis fan. The guy is awesome to watch.

To be perfectly accurate, the sign should have said " Fuzzyballpersons ".

Thanks Dave, that was great!!

Be careful to always use hand sanitizer when you encounter ballpersons. You wouldn't want to come down with Gerulaitis.

Dave, with all due respect, and despite Roger whatshisname, when it comes to actual ogling tennis, we can personally swear that, having attended the ASB Tennis Classic in Auckland New Zealand, women's tennis is the greatest athletic event in the history of mankind. As proof we offer this photo (not the burned pan... the next one) in our blog post of Senorita Whoa. We apologize for not being able to make her photo bigger, and for far too much space being devoted to words. (To those who say men should never be left alone, we say pfffttt. And whoa.)

Sorry. We never get this right.

Dave, with all due respect, and despite Roger whatshisname, when it comes to actual ogling tennis, we can personally swear that, having attended the ASB Tennis Classic in Auckland New Zealand, women's tennis is the greatest athletic event in the history of mankind. As proof we offer this photo (not the burned pan) in our blog post of Senorita Whoa.  We apologize for not being able to make her photo bigger, and for far too much space being devoted to words.  (To those who say men should never be left alone, we say pfffttt.  And whoa.)

Chongas like tennis?

Is this 'large tennis ball' just for autographs or do extremely large tennis players use them? And are soft drinks the only type available at these places? I think double shots of bourbon would make the match far more exciting or at least tolerable.

I dont give a whit about Tennis but it is comforting to a North Dakotan to know its already unbearably hot in Florida.
Wacy Doc currently in Waco.TX..

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