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March 23, 2014


Today I went to the same practice court where yesterday a large crowd waited in vain for Roger (Roger!) Federer, and there was another large crowd waiting, this one for Novak Djokovic (pronounced "Novak Djokovic"). There was a guy on the court, but it wasn't Djokovic; it was this guy skipping rope.


He also did some stretching exercises. This one is for professionals only.


I'm not sure why he felt the need to warm up; the temperature was 18,000 degrees. Random spectators were bursting into flames. We stood around perspiring for quite a while, and I was beginning to think that "Novak Djokovic" was an imaginary character you never actually see, like the Easter Bunny or Roger Federer. But then Djokovic actually appeared and commenced whacking the ball with the warmup guy, to the great excitement of those members of the crowd who had not expired.


Everybody took lots of pictures.


Tennis appears to be a sport where the fans don't need actual competition: They just want to see the stars. I think they'd have been happy if Novak just showed up and did some situps, or pruned a hedge, or repaired a washing machine. Which for the record would still be more exciting than golf.


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I remember how Djokovic, at his peak, took the Wimbledon men's final with a series of simply unreturnable washing machine repairs, breaking Rafael Nadal's hedge pruning in the opening set and never looking back. I think it went 5-0, 6-1, $7.50 for kids under 12, and Buy 1 Get 1 Free.

Today's tennis players get their names from a random letter generator program.

From a distance "Novak Djokovic" looks like the unidentified suspect the Australians performed the rough natured lap dance to his face during their act. I may be wrong. About during their act.

That could be a tennis triathlon: doing some situps, pruning a hedge, then repairing a washing machine. I bet John McEnroe would still offer his stinging criticisms as a commentator.

Where's the love?

the partial-sentence-tennis-names continue :

'Novack' = No vacuuming required

'Djokovic' = That joke of Vick being the next Jets quarterback really cracked me up!

...... what???!

If I put my leg up on a net like that to stretch somebody would have to call the paramedics for me. What a show off.


If I could get my leg up to the net, I'd brag about it for days. On the other hand I'd be stuck like that forever and I would probably tinkle as well.

My mom used to say. "Make that face and you will be stuck with it forever." Once I reached a "certain age" that applied to my entire body

Oh and SNORK to one and all!

Is Sony now sponsoring the blog ?

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