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March 10, 2014


The Washington Post piece mentioned that you discussed your funeral plans on the current book tour.  Here is a wrinkle that I’ve been toying with.  Beside the sign-in register (why do we have this custom?), my urn will be tastefully displayed, with a small mound of my ashes in a dish.  Beside the dish will be a small spoon and a supply of small (about 1 inch square) zip-lock baggies and sign saying, “You say that George will always be in your heart – well here’s your chance to have him in your purse or wallet, too.”



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In your heart...? If he's in your wallet, he'll be closer to your ash.

I like the way George thinks.

I'd put George in my garden. Lots of potash.

I have an ash bucket list. I hope to have some ash hidden in the bagpipe playing In A Godda Davida to share with the audience

Hope no one is a smoker, lest George's ashes become co-mingled, with just a hint of menthol.

Here is George's
Stash of ash
Conviently for your taking
Mix with flour sugar chocolate and eggs
And use it for your baking.*

*pot optional

I suppose that's one way to get your ashes hauled.

Our ol bud Charley passed, and as he was a serious hippie Dead fan, he owned forty some hawaiian shirts, so for his service, [some kind gals washed them] they were on racks in the rear, and folks were invited to pick one out and wear it home in his memory.

Herb tea, anyone?
Geezer bus, this way.

I told my wife she could just pitch my ashes but she asked me what I would do with hers. I said I would find a tall, shiny urn with a fancy top and put it on the mantel. Then I could tell people, "That's my trophy wife."

Snork at James...

This sounds like a great new tradition.... but we art - urn makers will be out of business. We'll have to make minis.

Well that would be one way of getting rid of the ashes. Scoop a spoonful into your purse or wallet.

I suggested my sister wrap our aunt's urn up like a Christmas present and leave it in her unlocked car in Detroit.
She wouldn't do it. She liked that car.

billb - We should have done that for our brother, Charlie, who had a huge collection of Harley Davidson t-shirts. Didn't think of that. Mom probably would have disapproved. I think she still has all the t-shirts, except for the two she let me take.

On your book "You Can Date Boys When You're Forty"
I hate males (like you) who diminish and put down their own gender while continuously placating to narcissistic women.

“Look around you”, where ever you are, where ever you go,
men have imagined, conceived, designed and created
everything that exists…everything!!!
The male mind is uniquely suited to visualize abstract concepts
and then make them a reality. Females know this innately.
This is the unspoken reality of our existence on this earth.

Women live in a world created by men,
a world in which she has no clue,
how all of the complex material structures work or even came to exist,
nor does she care.
It is like she assumes that they should be here naturally,
amazingly, not showing men the slightest appreciation for their creations.
If women were somehow able to have reproduced on their own,
they would still be living in caves today, wearing animal skins.

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