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January 08, 2014


'Highly Mobile' Testicles Frustrate Effort to Calm Hippos in Captivity

(Thanks to funny man)


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That's also what makes hippo fraternity hazing particularly vicious.

The Hippo centerfold

I saw a similar article several weeks ago, though the gist of that was the difficulty of hippo castration.

"Dude, come over here. We just want to help calm you down, OK?"

Inguinal Canal opening for Julio Iglesias deserves honorable mention.

HOow do you neuter a male hippo?

V-e-r-y carefully.

So that is what they are calling it these days.

Another argument for the legalization of marijuana. Instant gelding. They'd chew some pot plants, and never leave bother anyone again.

Maybe that's why Bill Clinton, in his highly mobile days, reminded me of a hippo.

The Ramones? I would have thought Moby Grape.

Not for the faint.
According to Dr. Walzer in Vienna (har):
Why the hippo has evolved a set of retractable testicles is not exactly known, but it is possibly a defense mechanism. “One of the theories is that when male hippos really fight – not just the display of bravado when they yawn and stretch their mouths open – they will go for the testicles and try and crush them with their teeth,” said Walzer. “If you can destroy your rival’s testicles, then that’s a evolutionary, reproductive advantage.” The ability to yank them more than a foot further into the body is certainly one defence against the probing of hippos' extremely long, self-sharpening teeth.

Oh, that's the Vienna Walzer, not the Tennessee Walzer. I was confused, at first.

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