MASTER CRIMINAL OF THE WEEK SO FAR
According to surveillance video uncovered by police, the suspect rammed a Ford Freestyle station wagon with Connecticut plates into the store entrance several times, breaking the glass. The man entered the store, where he took a banana from a shelf, ate it and then exited the store.
(Thanks to Gargoyle Socks, who says: "Totally worth it. Have you seen the price of bananas lately?") (Also thanks to Ralph)