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January 14, 2014

ANNOUNCEMENTS YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR

'Is there a doctor on board . . . and does anyone know how to fly a plane?'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Comments

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"And don't call me Shirley!"

I have about one minute of experience with single engine prop plane. Does that put me over or under the curve?

I've got about 90 seconds as WCO in an F4 Phantom ... as long as the plane has sum ordnance hangin' frum the hard points, I'd be willin' to try ...

My next question would have been, "How about a priest? Are there any priests on the plane?"

Jeff, get outta my head.

I believe one definition of "hero" could well be a person who does what one can for another under extraordinary circumstances.
She qualifies.

Does anybody here speak jive?

Ladies and gentelmen, the captain has turned off the No Panicking sign.

Do you like gladiator movies?

Yay for my neighbor! Next town over, but close enough.

Don't panic, but does anyone here know how to drive a blog?

Flight Attendant: " Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral and the eating of snails to be immoral? "

Rumack: Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?
Elaine Dickinson: No.

I don't know why they were so worried. Don't they have this guy on every plane just in case something like this happens?

He must have had the fish.

I believe it's an FDA rule that there has to be a backup pilot in an emergency landing. So NMUA and OtheU would probably qualify.

Exactly, Layzee.

Digger -- the FDA never really forgave me for the WaPo Style Invitational contest entry for a slogan for their federal agency "Given our name, you would think our parties wouldn't suck"

I think you are right about the FAA, though. After the successful landing, mentioning the pathological liar problem is counterindicated until after the plane is at a complete stop.

*Blush* Tnx fer yer support, Digger ...

Ok everyone, assume crash position!

(I bet a bunch of y'all started to do it.)

By "crash position" I presume you mean grabbing a bottle to chug?

Instructions for "Assuming Crash Position"

1. Bend forward and place your head between your knees.

2. Kiss your arse goodbye.

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