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December 17, 2013

FLATHEAD: COUNTY OF INTRIGUE

1:40 p.m. Someone was overheard saying “I don’t think I crap money” during an accidental phone call to 911.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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If these don't say "Flathead" what does?


10:56 a.m. A woman on Stoneridge Drive came home to find a strange man in maroon snow pants standing next to her garage with a shovel. He left on foot and was last seen headed toward Foys Lake Road.

11:17 a.m. An employee of an Evergreen business reported that someone called and said “Kaboom!” then hung up.

The African Lottery is what they're playing right now in the CAR, the PRC, Mali, South Sudan, Nigeria, and Somalia. Winner-take-all, loser-take-cover.

They don't have modern communications in Flathead?
I was getting prank phone calls one Saturday night-some kids were calling me every hour on the hour.
Finally, they called at 1 a.m. and I'd had enough.
"Hey, Bud," I said, "you do realize that I've got your phone number, don't you? When would be the best time to call you back?"
That was the last time I heard from them.

Citizens of Flathead County ask yourself, where is a golden goose when you need one?"

Steve - try this method if it recurs:

[Thick east-european accent] "Da? What? [Pause] How you get this number? Is restricted! No one is permitted .. Wait! You hold line! Vladymir! Vladymir, trace call! Uri, get helicopter! You, you stay on line! Do not hang up! ... Maryushka, get me Kremlin on blue phone! ..."

Keep this up until they hang up.

Don't think? I wouldn't flush until I was sure.

"I don't crap money." Sounds like someone is stressed over Christmas shopping.

Is crapping money something people often do in Flathead?

Some fine day, some dear Flatheadian will call 911 to report that this blog has been mocking their town. That call will be posted to this blog.

Then my secret circle of evil will be complete. Bwa-ha-ha!

Someday I want to go to Flathead County so I can call the police and tell them all the residents keep looking at me. I agree with Mazar Larry. Somebody has reached the end of their rope with the Christmas Shopping. At least they didn't jump out of a window.

FIELD TRIP!!!! I'll go anywhere as long as there's indoor plumbing and free wi-fi.

I think "crap money" refers to the Feds process of Quantitative Easing which produces money that is worth crap. Probably 2 Flathead Co. economists talking.

My mother had a short involvement with a dirty caller that lasted until I got her that whistle.

I've had the Jamaicans call me wanting to spend money there.

I guess this is the long-lost secret of alchemy...

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