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November 28, 2013

THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR

2. That we don't live in the 15th century.

(Thanks to The Perts and Ryan Jentzsch)

Comments

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The things they ate in the middle ages would turn your stomach. That PigChickStein sounds practically normal.

I prefer the 19th century. I look good in a kepi.

That looks bizarre to me

wench, bring me some ChickPig...

And the other political party preferred a chicken's head sewed onto a pig's feet.

This foodstuff was actually the result of a an historic, Medieval episode of "Ye Ironne Cheffe", wherein two top culinary experts went head-to-head in a no-holds-barred competition to create the most scrumptious royal entrée from nothing more than a pile of dead farm animals and a sewing kit. The "cockenthrice" won out of pure shock value and the unfortunate loser, visionary creator of the "turducken", was executed straight away and a bright flame in the dark, plague-infested Medieval world of Culinary Arts was sadly extinguished.

I've got a ham in the 'fridge right next to the leftover turkey.
And I'm stuffed. But that's as close as it's going to be.

The Department of Obscure History would like to welcome Dr. CarlaRose to the faculty. Do you mind if we call you Bruce to keep things clear?

Well done, Omniskeptic. You've effectively distilled my very essence, down to the cellular level, into one simple word: "Bruce". That said, I feel it is even yet a bit too vague. Given my newly-vetted doctoral distinction within the annals of "Obscure History", I fear ANY confusion between MYself and, say, a typical, knuckle-dragging Bruce, would quite frankly end in a disaster of epic proportions. It would make the Atomic Bomb look comparatively like a pyrotechnic midget. As Guan Lu, an actual historic Ming Dynasty figure and also pyrotechnic midget had been wont to say, "Your lucky day means many fishes on computer hat." Also that my lucky numbers are 4, 12, and 67. That SAID, I end this diatribe with no choice but to insist, for the good of all mankind, my revised professional designation be heretofore declared "The Most Esteemed Dr. Bruce™, All Rights Reserved".

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