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November 04, 2013


Zoos around the country will soon find out whether a beagle named Elvis can let them know when their polar bears are pregnant.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)


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One bear butt. One beagle.

Little Elvis is a randy little son of a gun, ain't he?


he ain't nothin but a hound dog

I'm not surprised. Beagles are notorious gossips.

What? How many polar bears come through airports, anyway? And why does it matter if they're pregnant? Excuse me ... Oh, it isn't the TSA doing this? I see. Never mind.

So that cult I joined that is terrified of carbon dioxide, wears funny clothes, believes that extraterrestrial clowns have secretly taken over the planet and worships beagles as gods isn't so far off the beam after all.

Joe's nose was the most intelligent part of him. But, by Jove, it knew everything.

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