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October 03, 2013

SEND IT TO... NO, NEVER MIND

Mountain Lion Spotted in Southeast D.C.

(Thanks to coscolo and Jeffrey Brown, who says "I hope he's hungry.")

(If it's spotted, wouldn't it be a leopard?)

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Was Kim Bauer anywhere nearby?

How does a mountain lion "earn" his spots?

We asked several celebrities in this hypothetical:

Kim Kardashian: Eating too many cheetoes.

Jay Leno's agent: Moola speaks.

The Geico Gekko: Sleeping on wet paint?

Deep Throat: Having a good agent or lawyer.

I spotted a leopard once. I always thought they came with spots already on, but no.

Remember, the leper never changes his spots.

Hello, Senator Cruz. This bear and I would like a word with you.

"A panther is like a leopard
except it hasn't been peppered
should you behold a panther crouch
prepare to say ouch
better yet, if called by a panther
don't anther." -- Ogden Nash

My wife's mother, 87, reports that we have "panthers" on the farm and to watch out lest they kill us.
It's clear she's identified common bobcats as "panthers" but she claims there is no difference and no authority can change her mind.
This "knowledge" is common among some people.
BTW, I see bobcat tracks in and around the barn every day and I'm still alive. They're looking for rabbits that shelter around the barn.

Southeast? He's gonna be someone's chicken fried dinner.

Some DC neighborhoods in DC are rougher than others. Spotting Gene Weingarten might be about as scary as a mountain lion.

Steve - yeah, you're fine with the bobcats. Now, if you see squirrel tracks, that's another matter. Walrus tracks would be bad, too, come to think of it.

The thing with walruses is, they have a ton of surface area, so if you spot one, you're gonna have a hell of a time getting it clean again. You're gonna need more paint remover.

This has been The Olde Naturalist with your host, Woodsy Loare, signing off and going for coffee.

Yeah, give me a choice between a bobcat and my MIL and, well...
Too easy?

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