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October 20, 2013


A high-speed, five-mile car chase through Sheffield ended with the virtually blind driver stopping his car, getting into the passenger seat and telling local police: “It wasn’t me driving. I’m blind.”

(Thanks to Another Ralph)


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Something similar happened to a cousin of mine who shall remain nameless. She didn't (doesn't) have a driver's license.

She was out with a friend who drank too much. The latter felt she was in no condition to drive so my cousin (no license, remember) got behind the wheel and started driving - very slowly and carefully. All of a sudden in the mirror she saw a police car with flashing lights. She pulled over and tried to exchange seats with her friend but the latter was so drunk she just sat there, so when the cop got to the window he saw my cousin sitting on her friend's lap in the passenger seat with no one behind the wheel.

(It turned out he pulled her over not because she was driving badly but for driving with her lights off. Then he asked her out.)


He saw nothing wrong with the way he was driving.

The great NOLA blind blues player Snooks Eaglin's band got so drunk at a show one time they had Snooks take the wheel of the band's van and drive them home, providing him with verbal instructions. They made it back...

"Oh, well, if you say you weren't driving, I... Hey! Wait a minute!"

Well then, go on your way.

Reminds me of the story about the guy who was walking his dog by a bar and wanted to stop for a drink, but the bar had a "No Dogs" sign in the door. So he put on dark glasses and walked into the bar. The doorman says, "You can't bring that dog in here." He replies, "Of course I can, he's my seeing eye dog."

The bartender looks at the dog and says, "Your seeing eye dog is a chihuahua?"

He looks shocked and says, "They gave me a chihuahua?"

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