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October 18, 2013

HEY, IF WE HAD TO FIGHT SOMETHING, WE'D PICK A SNAIL

Why Were Medieval Knights Always Fighting Snails?

(Thanks to Ralph)

IF THIS DOESN'T STOP EVERYBODY FROM USING DRUGS, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL WILL

Texas 5th graders don mustaches against drugs

ACTUAL CONCEPT, WHICH WE ARE NOT MAKING UP: The meaning of the mustache? It's a plea to peers: "I mustache you not to do drugs."

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

MEOW, DUDE

Cat caught carrying marijuana into Moldovan prison

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

SLOWLY BUT SURELY, WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO STUDY

Chimps catch yawns from humans, study shows

(Thanks to Joel Farr)

BECAUSE SNAKE HAPPINESS IS IMPORTANT

Woman offers reptile reiki relaxation sessions for sad snakes

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT LOOKS AS GOOD AS IT SOUNDS

Japan Gets Anti-Radiation Swimwear and Underwear

(Thanks to Ryan Jentzsch)

EXCEPT IT LOOKS MORE HUMAN THAN HE DOES

The Trump Canary:

Article-0-18CAC68600000578-360_634x418

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WHY WE ALWAYS CARRY A HARMONICA

Music Makes Women Drink Faster By Obscuring The Strength Of Alcohol

(Thanks to Ron G.)

HE SHOULD GET A MEDAL!

TN officer fired after shooting, pepper spraying squirrel

It was inside a store. But you cannot take chances.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

NAME THAT STATE!

Teacher fired for allegedly giving minors alcohol, condoms

(Thanks to Rick)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Chinese soldiers resort to FLAME THROWERS to destroy giant hornet nests

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

INCREDIBLY, THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN FLORIDA

UPDATE: Well, it turns out that, tragically, this did not happen at ALL. This is what I get for posting stuff to the blog from the Dayton, Ohio, airport without enough caffeine in my body.

Rest assured that judi will be fired if I ever get back to Miami by air, which seems increasingly unlikely.

“After the vehicle pulled over, we approached it and found that the driver was not only drinking a can of beer, but that he was not wearing any pants and that he had urinated on himself.

...“There were also two female passengers in the back seat,” stated Lt. Sullivan. “One of the females was asleep, partially clad. The other was extremely hysterical. At that time, we believed that she might have been under the influence of PCP, due to the fact that she claimed there were mice biting at her and climbing on her.”

...After members of the Canton Rescue Squad cut the roof off the vehicle, and with the help of a crane supplied by Shaugnessy Crane, the women were lifted out of the car. Police estimate the weight of each woman was between 300 and 450 pounds.

(Thanks to that space guy)

 

AN ANXIOUS WORLD HEAVES A SIGH OF RELIEF

Swiss crack case of parrot egg underwear smuggler

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

THEY KEEP TRYING TO SPIN WEBS

870k Toyotas recalled for spider-related problem

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

SURPRISE!

A Treasure Valley woman bought a home in Nampa, only to find out later that she only owns half of it. She owns the front half of the property, while someone else owns the back half.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

FLATHEAD: COUNTY FROM MARS

3:02 p.m. Someone called in claiming that a suspicious tent had been set up behind the “toilet factory.”

(Thanks to The Perts and Jeff Meyerson)

THERE IS NO LEGITIMATE REASON FOR CIVILIANS TO POSSESS THOSE THINGS

Man Arrested After Throwing Parrot at Cop

(Thanks to Ralph, Unholy Slacker, Loudmouth, Chris Elzi and Mag Last)

THE HAPPIEST SHRUB ON EARTH

Phallic-shaped bush in Windsor park work of vandals

Phallic-symbol-full

(Thanks to The Perts and Unholy Slacker)

MEANWHILE IN CANADA

The question on everyone’s mind: Why does Edmonton smell like poop?

(Thanks to The Perts)

THIS WILL SURELY BE EFFECTIVE

It's a Wal-Prom. Rachel Anderson, with son Noah, 2, and daughter Maggie, 9, joined the Facebook group called I Heart Spring Hill in celebrating the opening day of the new Wal-Mart in Spring Hill on Wednesday Oct. 16, 2013. The group dressed up in tuxedos and prom dresses to go shopping in hopes of helping to put a positive spin on the attire of shoppers who frequent the popular store.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

'YOU WILL BELIEVE YOUR EYES'

The Sensible Horror Film

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

CUSTOM-COATING SUPPLIER OF THE WEEK

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Custon Coating Supplier of the Week.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THANKS, BUT WE'LL BE EATING OUT

Go to the toilet while cooking your dinner

Sds2

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

BOZO WILL SEE YOU NOW

Medical clowning degree to soon be available in New Zealand

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

WHEW

Shutdown won’t affect beaver class

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THIS JUST IN

Penis biter Jason Martin jailed for eight years after row over loud music

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and DaninTustin)

 
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