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October 11, 2013

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Otherwise Respectable Man Devours Massive Piece of Brie on Subway

(Thanks to Jenny Kellner)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

A Brooklyn man required 30 stitches to treat the shrapnel wounds he received when his porcelain toilet blew up in his face.

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

KINKY

Maritime moose sex corridor gets $52K from U.S. charity

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Woman stabs boyfriend in eye after he refuses to have threesome

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

YOU THINK?

Woman who stole guns, vodka armed and dangerous

(Thanks to Vernon Bowen)

CSI: GIN GIN

A huge kangaroo has kept police busy overnight after it broke into a home near Gin Gin, south-west of Bundaberg in southern Queensland.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

GET A ROOM, YOU TWO

The Human-Sized Salamander That Smells Like Pepper

GIANT-SALAMANDER

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

CONFESSION TIME

Vatican Misspells Jesus

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, The Perts and Omniskeptic)

THE HOCKEY REPORT

Bakersfield Condors giving away cemetery plot at ECHL game

This has been the Hockey Report.

(Thanks to Ron G.

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY HONEYMOON

German groom forgets bride at gas station

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE HAVE 911

Mont. woman too drunk to get out of car calls 911

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

CSI:OWA

Pot-belly pig terrorizes Des Moines neighborhood

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

PUT THAT BLINDFOLD ON *NOW*

Tanning mom makes her porn debut

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

OUCH

Wang of China Hit Hard by Inflation

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

CANADA:

Land of Passion.

Tiger

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

It's cricket-fighting season.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

HE WAS SENTENCED BY STATLER AND WALDORF

Elmo's going to the slammer.

(Thanks to Mark Buckley)

WHY FLORIDA IS NOT LIKE WHERE YOU LIVE, EXAMPLE 2,038:

Man bitten by rattlesnake in Broward County while helping turtle cross I-75

(Thanks to J.R. Absher)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

Weatherman accidentally eats cat vomit on live TV and confesses everything

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Jeffrey Brown, Ralph, DaninTustin and B'game)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE BANGLES

Woman jailed on drug charges after feminine hygiene hijinks in Stuart

You know the state.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

YOU CANNOT BE TOO CAREFUL

Man arrested for sipping tea ‘suspiciously’

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

 
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