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October 10, 2013

AND YET IT IS STILL A MAN PURSE

Don’t laugh at the “man purse”—it’s now a $9 billion luxury business

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

EFFICIENT

Azerbaijan released election results before voting had even started

(Thanks to wiredog and Omniskeptic)

CSI: ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

Michigan janitor offers students $1 to beat up 4th-grader

(Thanks to Omniskeptic)

IN FLORIDA, HE WOULD BE A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR

A Louisiana man who got distracted while driving because he was shooting up heroin at the same time rammed into the back of a police car on Monday.

And this would be his student:

Drunk Georgia teen crashes truck into same Taco Bell four times

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

HARD TO BELIEVE THIS PLAN WENT AWRY

After 25 beers — maybe more, police say — a Springfield man fired a handgun from a vehicle, trying to hit a snake slithering across the street.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau) 

INDIANA

State of Passion.

WARNING: NSFW, if you work with turtles.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

SO HE GRABBED HIS ÉPÉE

"The first thing that went through my head is somebody should do something, and that's when I got really upset and disappointed with myself, because I realized I had the opportunity to do something. And I didn't want to be a hypocrite who just tweeted about it."

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

AW, SHUCKS

Meet Dave, A 19-Year-Old Craft Beer With A $2,000 Price Tag

(Thanks to DJTonyB)

BASED ON AN ACTUAL THING THAT COULD HAPPEN

Avalanche Sharks

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

YOU CAN FIND EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET.

Everything.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

ATTENTION, NOBEL PRIZE JUDGES

A team of Chinese researchers working at Sun Yat-Sen University has found a possible way for drinkers of alcoholic beverages to minimize their risk of developing a hangover and other negative side-effects: consume Sprite.

(Thanks to Rich Steurer)

SERVING EVICTION PAPERS COULD BE TRICKY

A Colfax landlord received a shock recently when he found an eleven-foot python in his rental property.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

BREAKING BAD BIRTHDAY

An Arizona couple were stunned to open a birthday card and find $1,000 worth of crystal meth stuffed inside.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SUBURBANITES PRETENDING TO BE FARMERS: WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

"I know my client assumed threshing would be perfectly safe," said Mark Robertson, attorney for Karl Frankenheimer, a Massachusetts man who suffered several puncture wounds at Apple Time Farms in Wakefield, N.H., when he stuck his buttocks into the thresher "as a gag."

(Thanks to Samuel Sprague)

MEANWHILE IN THE ARTS

SEATTLE -- Multiple shots were fired late Friday night in Capitol Hill when a fight broke out during a "choreographed dance number" in a neighborhood basement, according to the Seattle Police Department.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

THERE IS NO HIGHER HONOR

Rhode Island Corn Maze Creates Unique Welcome For Taylor Swift

(Thanks to Monique)

MEANWHILE ABROAD

Turkey Cracks Down on Cleavage

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

WE BLAME THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN

Boat Full of ‘Lower Grade’ Weed Crashes Into Nude Beach

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

DEPARTMENT OF HEADLINES WE WISH WE HAD NEVER READ THE THE LAST THREE WORDS OF

South Carolina Man Was Left Bloodied By Ex-Girlfriend's Violent Testicle Assault

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SO HE'LL HAVE TO VOTE IN FLORIDA

You're still legally dead, judge tells Fostoria man

(Thanks to William Price and Greg Snow)

CRIME DOES NOT PAY

They recognised each other immediately and the man bolted, jumped a six-foot fence and landed face first in a garden bed full of animal droppings.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHEW

Dong in good hands

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER

Jellyfish-Shredding Robots.

(Thanks to Rich Steurer)

 
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