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October 04, 2013

C.S.EWWWW

Oklahoma man was arrested on burglary charges after police matched his DNA to used toilet paper found at the scene of the crime, police said.

(Thanks to Ryan Jentzsch)

HE HAD TWO?

Two penises engraved on a 2,000 year old stone may shed light on the foundation of the city of Aosta in northern Italy, revealing its deep connection with the Roman emperor Augustus.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE RAMONES

Sponge feces as the driving force behind tropical coral reefs

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THE NATION CANNOT HOLD OUT MUCH LONGER

Air Force Academy faces toilet paper shortage from government shutdown

(Thanks to Chuck Cody and Claire Martin)

THERE WAS A TIME, LONG AGO, WHEN PEOPLE USED PHONES TO TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE, IF YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE

Beer-brewing robot allows you to make your own beer with your iPhone

(Thanks to James in NC)

SOMEBODY'S GOING TO BE SLEEPING ON THE SOFA

A Spanish judge has risked the ire of women everywhere after ruling that a driving school was within its rights to charge female learners more because it was proven that “men were better drivers”.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

GO FIGURE

Attempt to fly phone into prison on pigeon fails

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WHY THE HELL NOT?

The Lake District’s Bowness Bay Brewing has launched Braille Ale, aimed at blind and visually impaired drinkers.

(Thanks to Art Kraus)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Japan Invents ‘Smell-o-Vision’ for Smartphones

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

HARD LISTENING

The Remainders' ebook is on sale. It's kind of like Moby Dick, but instead of a whale or a plot there are essays by members of the band in which we reveal intimate secrets about each other, such as who has, and who does not have, a spleen.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT

The Texas Panty Bandit Has Struck Again

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

TASTEFUL

Officials in Feodosiya, located on the country's Crimean Peninsula, held a sharpshooting contest in the memory of Mayor Oleksandr Bartenev, 57, who was shot in the back with a shotgun by an unidentified assailant during the summer.

(Thanks to funny man)

UPDATE ON THE SQUIRRELS' ONGOING EFFORT TO INFILTRATE HUMAN SOCIETY AND THEN DESTROY IT

Now they've taken up golf.

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

 

WE'LL JUST HAVE A BEER, THANKS

How Your Old CDs Can Turn Sewage Into Drinking Water

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

SO PART OF THE GOVERNMENT IS STILL WORKING

The U.S. Treasury sends a check to a guy whose golden retriever ate five $100 bills.

(Thanks to The Perts)

INEVITABLE

The Miley Cyrus twerking bobblebutt doll.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE TEQUILA

Texas highway backed up due to spilled limes

(Thanks to Ralph)

PLEASE BRING BACK THE BAN

The Queen's estate reverses ban on nudists at famous beach imposed after complaints that it had become 'a haven for swingers and perverts'

Advisory: NSF Human Eyeballs.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

 
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