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September 24, 2013


Why do people want to eat babies? Scientists explain.

(Thanks to Bart King)


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I thought it was taste.

I cancelled my subscription decades ago when Christian science was in it's infancy.

What scientists worry about when they're not worrying about climate change.

It's because they're less stringy than scientists. But maybe we should rethink it.

never trusted people who made those 'numm-nummy' noises around my

kid's - or was i just being possessive ?

Who decided that this was even a question?

"Why do people want to eat babies?"
"I dunno. Who says they do?"
"We must find out why people want to eat babies!"
"Why do you think people want to eat babies?"
"I must apply for a research grant to find out why people want to eat babies!"
"You're a crank."
"You will not laugh when I get my grant."

Okay? Time to raise taxes again. There are important questions out there crying for an answer.

Key update, italics in original:

Based on responses to this story, I should probably make something absolutely clear: You should never attempt to actually eat a baby.

I had no idea that some people actually want to eat babies. Especially the ones who smell...well, smell.
My mother would cross the street to avoid new mothers who might think, for some strange reason, that my mother would want to hold their spawn.
And she never, ever changed her grandchild's diaper.
She was a good mother.

I think the bigger question is: Why do babies want to eat scientists?

I thought this was the latest Republican modest proposal as an alternative to SNAP.

Who knew that Mike Tyson was on to something? I'll take mine "hold the meconium."

I would like to eat the moms and especially the grandparents with their incessent showing of pictures of their progeny.

I reallly want to say, "Well surgery can take care of that issue," When they thrust yet another picture of some squinting little Yoda like creature in my face.

I don't care if people show me pictures of the prawn of their loins, but those damn double-wide strollers should be banned.

"Prawn of their loins?" Now that would be interesting.

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