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July 07, 2013


Exploding rhubarb chutney wrecks retirement flat

(Thanks to Ron G. and Ralph)


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Now I know what relish we'll be having on Thanksgiving.

I hat it when my vegetables rebel.

Exploding Rhubarb Chutney is a tribute band for Glue Huffing Monk.

I saw them open for Strawberry Alarm Clock.

Just think about what the chutney could do if consumed with pork and beans.

You know the blog relishes these stories.

Exploding Rhubarb Chutney has a reputation for wrecking places, Holiday Inn banned them halfway through their Flaming Diapers tour because the rooms they wrecked.

I heard a massive bang just the other day.

Thin walls, young neighbors, the usual...


The pH of rhubarb is reported at 3.1, which should have been more than low enough to prevent bacterial growth in even an unrefrigerated sample.
I suspect someone skimped on the rhubarb and added some unwise ingredients. Throw in some poor processing and there you go.
On the other hand, it is apparently unsurpassed as an alarm clock.

Not only that, but a key ingredient of chutney is vinegar, which should also retard bacterial growth. That is why ketchup doesn't have to be refrigerated.

I once brewed a batch of ale and put it up in champagne bottles (which will accept a crimped beer bottle cap). That is, they'll accept them as long as they're not stored next to a furnace. Terrible waste of beer. Fortunately, it wasn't my furnace.

hmmm ... quote '... as she lay asleep at 7am in the morning.'
Better Dr Who-ish story if it was 7pm in the morning.

But I like chutney.

I brewed twelve Gal. of stout and thought it would be good to use ice to cool the wort. It was on my wife's dresser when it blew up. I spent two days cleaning up the hops and barley off of the ceiling, walls, rug, bed and other furniture. I bottled it anyway and it was the best vinegar I have ever tasted.

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