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July 24, 2013


The tortoise would have a candle stuck to its shell and would be used to light a room and keep the burglar's hands free while he carried out his theft

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)


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If you buy one candleholder tortoise now, we'll double the offer. Just pay separate handling and shipping. Call now!

They have Amanda Bynes' hair on a spear?

My apologies in advance. Being responsible for the prior Amanda Bynes heroine use reference is not something I am proud of

Incredibly, hashish seems to have been involved

Los Tortugas de la Luz would be a good name for a Mariachi Band.

I still think if you set this in Miami it could be a subplot in Dave's next book.

Teenage Medieval Ninja Tortoises?

Hold my grog and watch this.

Banu Sasan aka the IRS

"Professor Bosworth also said that the burglar might chew noisily on some stale bread and beans to impersonate a cat eating a rat or mouse so as not alarm any sleeping people in the house."

Uh-huh. Also, if the burglar was detected, he would cry out (in Arabic) "Ain't no-one here but us chickens, boss"

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