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July 12, 2013

DESPERATE TIMES

Knife Wielding Man Steals 96 Rolls Of Toilet Paper

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Comments

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He made a clean getaway.

musta had a lotta prune juice...

In the original story it was one 12 pack and I couldn't understand why he had to mug someone for that. This makes more sense, in a twisted way, though even in Brooklyn I think he might have been noticed wheeling that down the street.

Hope it was doubles, 'cause those singles last about 10 minutes in our house.

Apparently, Tide detergent is also a hot shoplifting target. There's a black market in it, for some reason.

Scott-free?

they need to add more bleach to remove black market stains. or something. actually, a friend of mine who works in a cvs said they have to lock up the Tide detergent because suddenly it has become muy popular for theives. what are they doing with it - huffing it?? drinking it? Tide will have nothing to Gain with all this theivery....

Does this guy belong to the cult depicted in the Beavis and Butthead episode "Holy Cornholio"?

Great Scott.

Also Tide is stolen because it has become a form of black market cash - no serial numbers. While things like gold would be better forms of black market cash, it seems difficult to buy gold with food stamps.

He should be easy to spot -- wearing only a green t-shirt and sneakers and carrying eight rolls of toilet paper.

Tide kills the smell of controlled substances and gives drug dogs fits. Hence the black market.

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