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July 01, 2013

CELEBRITY UPDATE

Justin Bieber’s Ex-monkey Moves to Private Island with Moat and Three Potential Girlfriends, Tries to Forget Justin Bieber

(Thanks to Ralph)

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I prefer to think that Mally remembers the Biebster only too well.

Coming soon: "Small troop of militant Capuchins hijacks star's private jet; diverts to remote headhunter village in Amazon jungle."

The "three potential girlfriends" are Kardashians, right?

Ummmm, I'd kinda like to forget Justin Bieber too. Can I have an island and some girlfriends?

Did the German government confiscate Mally or did she apply for asylum?

Ex-monkey? Bieber not only abandoned him, he took his monkeyness away from him?

Sounds like life is looking up for the little monkey. One who sounds like he had more empathy and affection than his former owner.
Why didn't Bieber just try to smuggle him in in those satchel-pants he likes?
If anyone had noticed odd movements, he could have just claimed his hemorrhoids were acting up.

Sounds nice until you do the math. The group will include 3 other males and 3 females. Four dudes and 3 dudettes. Someone's gonna be a loser. But I'm sure Mally learned all the moves from the Biebster, so he won't have any problems. Right.

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