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July 01, 2013


USDA Tells Magician to Write Disaster Plan for His Rabbit

(Thanks to Another Ralph)


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I'd definitely go with eating the rabbit.
We regulators were sitting around discussing emergency steps for Y2K (remember that?). There was discussion about mandatory temperature charts for checking food when the power went off, food-safety charts about how long the food would last, etc., ad nauseum.
The boss finally got around to asking my opinion, since I was the chief inspector.
"Tell them , 'Don't open the refrigerator while the power's off.'" I said.

Writing a disaster plan for your rabbit?

I know what most guys do if the rabbit dies ...

The "Clapper Memo?" A lengthy discourse on what to do if you catch claps while on vacation? 20,000 words.

Hasenpepper,....hasendeffer, has....you get what I mean. (I need to study more Yosemite Sam)

Wet me take care of your wabbit.

Wabbit stew! Is it Kosher?

Definitely not. Wrong hooves.

Disaster Plan For Rabbit
1. Grab rabbit
2. Run
Think that would satisfy them?

A reinforced concrete hat?

Steve - My office (A bunch of IT nerds) were sitting around on Y2K, waiting for the systems to either melt down or remain totally functional, which is what we had spent the past two years testing.

We were calm. We were ready. 3! 2! 1! Y2K!

Absolutely nothing happened. No chaos. No lost data. All the Unix boxes remained upright, cats refused to lie down with dogs, etc.

We celebrated, with cake, non-alcoholic drinks, and noisemakers.

30 seconds later, *CLICK!*, and the entire building plunged into complete blackness. Everyone had the same four-letter word in mind, and most of us said it.

A few moments later, we realized that the lights in our building were all on a manual timer, which routinely shuts them off at midnight.

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The answer, apparently, is 26 of us.

- Put rabbit in hat
- Rabbit disappears
- Run!

It seems to me that a properly deployed squirrel could take care of one addled rabbit.

That Wascally Wabbit!

Dear wabbit,....be afwaid. Be vewwwy vewwwwy afwaid .....

Hey Rocky/USDA watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!

My daughter was on a cruise ship off Daytona at midnight. She reported that many of the passengers were waiting for the ship to sink at the appointed hour.
One, why would the power being off cause the ship to go down?
Two, why would they be on a ship they expected to sink?

Too late-- Ozark, MO is already a disaster.

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