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July 25, 2013

BEATS US

Why Is Florida So Weird?

(Thanks to John Grant)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Australia gifts Prince George a baby crocodile

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

DUH, II

Washington D.C. is least honest city in America, study says

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

WHICH U.S. CITY HAS THE WORST DRIVERS?

Duh.

(Thanks to wiredog)

Notice that Hialeah comes in third. Hialeah, basically, is also Miami.

COLLECTORS: HAVE WE GOT A DEAL FOR YOU

A local business (who shall remain unnamed), received an inside tip on the gender of the royal baby from a supposedly reputable source. With complete confidence in their inside man, they ran a print run of 5,000 commemorative plates, celebrating the birth of the first Princess of Cambridge

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Monopoly eliminates jail time because kids are too busy

(Thanks to The Perts)

HE'S NOW LEADING THE NYC MAYORAL RACE

Swedish lawmaker caught with his pants down

(Thanks to Joe in Japan and Johan in Sweden)

'WELL THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A F***UP'

JFK reams out a general.

TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE

A man caught with a prostitute in his car told police she was there to show him where to buy tomatoes.

(Thanks to wiredog and Jan in Grimsby)

'I JUST WOULD NOT EXPECT AN ALLIGATOR TO BE SHOPLIFTED'

Shoplifter steals baby alligator after hiding it under his shirt

(Thanks to W. von Papineau and Ryan Jentzsch)

FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS

New Species of Hero Shrew Found in Equatorial Africa

(Thanks to Jeff Matthews, who says "Hero Shrew opened for me once.")

SUM TING WONG

Local News Reporter Accidentally Draws A Penis On Traffic Map

(Thanks to Robert Mathis and Unholy Slacker)

SEAPERSON OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Ahoy.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko, who says a Florida boater's license is on the way.)

SUAVE

Man breaks into home, tries to give woman back rub

(Thanks to Jeff Schneider)

THIS IS REASSURING

NSA Says It Can’t Search Its Own Emails

(Thanks to Ron G.)

'HAPPY RIDE'

Vibrating bicycle seat cover provides exciting new incentive to cycle to work

(Thanks to Ron G. and Jeff Meyerson)

 
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