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June 26, 2013

'AND NOW, THE END IS NEAR...'

Pa. man quotes Bogart, Sinatra while DUI

(Thanks to Joe M)

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Police later learned they had indeed arrested John Kerry doing his Bogart impression. Suspicion arose when during a Sinatra song, Kerry tossed his medals over a nearby fence in protest.

...."And I drove the...high...way!"

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, I have to run into a car here. Oh well, play it again, Sam. The fundamental things apply as time goes by.

fly me to the moon
i want to sing among the stars
i'll barf upon your shoes
cause i've closed all the bars

in other words
i will spew
in other words
(*clunk*) ...zzzzz....

F-f-f-f-foster B-b-brooks l-l-l-lives.

If he starts asking where the strawberries went it's time to lock him up.

At least he's a classy drunk.

'doo-be doo-be doo-be doo,'

doo-dah, d-u-i duh....

It was that one more for the road that did it.

Drunk: "You depise me don't you Ricky ?"
Police: "I suppose if I ever thought about you...I would"

Coastal command aircraft: What ship is that?

Destroyer: Graf Spee.

Aircraft: Haven't you naval chaps heard of the end of the Graf Spee?

Destroyer: Which end?

Nicholas Monsarrat (The Cruel Sea, etc.) reports that as fact. Personally, I doubt it, but I wasn't there.

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