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May 08, 2013


Stalker leaves dead opossum on ex-girlfriend's doorstep

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)


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Aww, he looks just like a little Nazi.

If that doesn't win her back she has no heart.

Stalker, yes; girlfriend, no.

Was it that girl who won a beauty contest by skinning a possum in 30 seconds? 'Cause with her, it just might have worked. I mean, it would still have to be a really GOOD dead possum, y'know, at least a six-pounder...

Are they sure the possum was actually dead? Maybe it was just well-disciplined.

(Reference: insensitive, inhumane Vietnam-Era joke and Geezer bus ticket. Possibly hand basket, too.)

"Guess the state"... Hmmmm. Maryland?

"Hi, my name is Larry. This is my brother Darryl..."

Omni, one evening a few weeks ago I thought somebody had thrown a dead possum in my yard. My dog walked up and sniffed it and I took a shovel up to it thinking I'd pitch it back. Then I decided to wait overnight before making any rash decisions. The next morning it was gone, having walked off. If I'd actually slid the shovel under it, I think it would have given me and the dog matching heart attacks.

I don't think it was the same possum as in this story, though. Maybe we should do DNA tests? Possums got DNA, right?

Your dog showed remarkable restraint. Our old girl, RIP, wouldn't have been able to resist giving it a little trial bite, just to check the flavor.

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