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May 07, 2013


Boy who held pencil like gun suspended

"A pencil is a weapon when it is pointed at someone in a threatening way and gun noises are made," said Bethanne Bradshaw, a spokesperson for Suffolk Public Schools.

Actually, no. It's still just a pencil.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)


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If pencils our outlawed, only outlaws will have pencils.

If it was a No. 1 pencil, well okay. No. 2...Those things have got to be banned.

did he threaten to pump 'em full of lead?

But the pen is mightier than the sword, and the pencil is sharper than the pen.

Now I'll go read the article.

A pencil is a weapon when it's used to draft blatantly absurd policies or statements justifying same.

My Freudian symbolism decoder broke down when I input a boy using a pencil to simulate a gun, I think that means he has a very confused sexuality. Either that or Freud had a dirty mind.

Actually, trained killers like James Bond can shove a sharpened pencil up through your lower jaw into your brain and kill you. Otherwise, don't try it.
You'll get your ass kicked.

"A pencil is a weapon when it is pointed at someone in a threatening way"

This part is true. For example if I held the the pencil, such that the tip was touching the principle's carotid, the gun noises would be irrelevant.

"Kids don't think about 'Cowboys and Indians' anymore, they think about drive-by shootings and murders and everything they see on television news every day."

So it would have been okay if he was shooting a native American "savage".

It is getting so hard to be politically correct in one area without stepping in politically incorrect doo-doo with the other foot.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Mark Twain

It reasons then that if a child is caught eating a gingerbread man, he should be suspended for promoting cannibalism.

No, Gregg, sexism. Where are the gingerbread women?

"The Suffolk school system has a 'zero tolerance policy' when it comes to intelligence and mature, thoughtful judgment."
There. Corrected it for them.

"Actually, no. It's still just a pencil."

Thank you!

Also, Steve's "correction" is spot-on.

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