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May 14, 2013

IT WAS ASKING FOR IT

Graduate teacher fires nearly 40 rounds into his ceiling

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes, who says "...he no longer has a squirrel problem.")

NO HIGHER PRAISE

Local Man Has Charles Ramsey Tattooed on Leg

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

BRILLIANT

Drunken tourist charges at an elephant on safari

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE HEAR SELENA GOMEZ IS AVAILABLE

Ugly Fish Seeks Mate

Photo here.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

THE GOLDEN YEARS

3 arrested in drug, prostitution sting at Englewood senior citizen housing complex

(Thanks to Bill Jones, who asks, "Do the residents get their 10 percent senior discount?")

HOW THE HELL DID HE GET UP THERE AFTER *THAT?*

The manager of a ValuMarket says he found 57 empty whipped cream cans in the garbage when he arrived Monday morning. WAVE-TV in Louisville reported 30-year-old Trevor Runyon was charged after he was found in the ceiling of the store.

(Thanks to Greg Snow, DaninTustin, Brett Harris and Sharon [The Minx] Lurie)

THEY WERE ALL RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Utah cabin had uninvited guests — 60,000 bees

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

YOU KNOW THE SQUIRRELS WERE BEHIND THIS

New York police officer gets stuck in tree while rescuing stranded cat

(Thanks to The Perts)

THE LAST PLACE WE'D THINK TO LOOK

Man says he found Jesus - in a local newspaper

(Thanks to Sharon [The Minx] Lurie and Bill Jones)

APPARENTLY IT LEADS TO FLORIDA

Brighton resident ‘discovers vortex to another dimension, complete with giant snake’

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

ADVISORY:

Witches flying broomsticks in Swaziland above 150 metres will be subject to arrest and a hefty fine of R500 000, civil aviation authorities said, according to a report.

The Good News: No penalties exist for witches flying below 150 metres.

(Thanks to Ron G.)

YOU HAVE TO STAND FOR SOMETHING

Police say a Quincy woman is facing charges for allegedly punching a restaurant worker who put "too many pickles" on her steak and cheese sandwich.

(Thanks to many people)

 
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