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March 05, 2013

OF COURSE THIS WILL MEAN A 23% TUITION HIKE

Duke gets softer toilet paper after rash of complaints

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

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Waah, waah. I'm from Duke and my rich bottom is all red. I need softer t-paper and some incentives to keep going on. Waah, waah. You would never hear this from a Carolina Tarheel.

A "rash" of complaints about toilet paper, they say? So Dookies think they have a lower standard of humor than This Blog? I, for one, think not.

How many are in a rash? Is it more than a dozen, less than a google, somewhere around a plethora?

"rash" of complaints?

Really?

No Charmin for you.

And they will need to hire an Associate Dean for Tissue Diversity.

You can tell those pampered elitists at Duke to take this toilet paper and stic ... hmm, wait a minute. That's sort of the point, I guess.

Sign over the joy roll says:

" Duke diplomas. Take one . "

coming soon to an elitist school near you!: gold-leafed 3-ply* toilet paper, made exclusively of recycled silk sheets from some of Europe's finest 5-star hotels, *third ply offers protection a gold-leafed layer of between the wiper's hand and the 2-ply "wiping layer"

Well, if there's a rash the first thing I'd do is change toilet paper.

Did the Duke medical school collect tissue samples?

I predict Duke will be wiped out during March Madness.
(Sorry, I'm on a roll here.)

I'm considering making a special roll of TP, with pretty photos on it, just for single women.

I'm going to call it "Prints Charmin".

PB, you have a roll in Marketing, clearly.

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