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March 22, 2013

MEANWHILE IN THE HELLHOLE KNOWN AS FLATHEAD COUNTY

3:52 p.m. Someone called in asking what to do for a “beat up chicken” they found at the dump. Apparently, it looked as though the chicken “had been through a lot.”

(Thanks to The Perts)

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I totally want to live on Electric Avenue. I have several family members and friends who would be seriously impressed.

Shocking. Just shocking.

THis was from five reports previously, so technically old news (see report dated 3/10).

Personally I am more interested in what scared the cat and why masked children are going around terrorizing seniors.

Flathead-never a dull moment, except perhaps a the donut shop.

A man on Blasdale Lane reported that his neighbor was shooting tannerite, creating large explosions. He was concerned about the noise and the welfare of the local pheasants.

I thought Chavez died. Oh, "pheasants," not "peasants." Never mind.

If you beat your chicken too much, you will go blind.

what is tannerite in this world of high crimes and misdemeanors, anyway?

It's been a while since I last saw Flathead County in the blog. I had hoped things had quieted down out there. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

So the "blotter item" means there are cockfights going on?

I wonder what's next-girls in wet t-shirts wrestling?
If so, I hope they get some pictures to document the
"event"...better than a thousand words...

I wonder if anyone has ever done a study of the drinking water in Flathead County?

@NC - I don't know about the drinking water, but the gene pool apparently needs shock treatment.

I have a good recipe for Beat Up Chicken.

Salman Rushdie, on Flathead County:

"In this world without quiet corners, there can be no easy escapes from history, from hullabaloo, from terrible, unquiet fuss."

Chickens always look like they've been through a lot when they are choked.

I'm worried about the African-American shepherd who lost his boxers. Wouldn't want him to become a statistic on the zipper list in the ER.

A man with an accent called to complain about terrible, unquiet fuss.

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