APOCALYPSE UPDATE
(Thanks to Mike Ester)
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March 20, 2013
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Your Blogging Staff
Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
Santa Claus's beard is probably getting its butt kicked right now.
Posted by: Head_Smashed_In | March 20, 2013 at 01:45 PM
From my cold, dead upper lip.
Posted by: manuaol tomato | March 20, 2013 at 01:49 PM
Did someone buy him a razor?
I thought he'd only shave when hell freezes over...
Uh oh...anybody seen the devil?
Posted by: funny man | March 20, 2013 at 02:04 PM
At the Large Hadron Collider, physicists announced discovery of the smallest particle yet observed, but pointed out that it was still larger than the amount I care about Mr Norris'beard.
Posted by: Omniskeptic | March 20, 2013 at 02:21 PM
Indeed, there was another fist under his beard!
Posted by: jon | March 20, 2013 at 02:32 PM
And now I understand why he grew it in the first place
Posted by: Betsy | March 20, 2013 at 02:37 PM
You don't tug on Superman's cape...
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | March 20, 2013 at 03:56 PM
I think his hair just leapt off his body in fear.
Posted by: Ms. Flukey | March 20, 2013 at 03:58 PM
I think the day he shaved it was the day that meteor nearly destroyed Russia. Did any meteors strike Earth while he had his beard? No! The universe no longer fears the beard. What terror will strike next.
Posted by: GregariousMatt | March 20, 2013 at 04:34 PM
Chuck's beard was so tough that they wore out three riding mowers just to trim his sideburns.
Posted by: Horace LaBadie | March 20, 2013 at 04:37 PM
looks more like a Charles Norris now...ouch
Posted by: jeffluence | March 20, 2013 at 05:06 PM
I am really worried that North Korea might try something right now thinking that one of our nations best defenses is sitting on a barber shop floor.
Posted by: WinterIsComing | March 20, 2013 at 05:10 PM
I guess that this leaves Tom Selleck's mustache as our last line of defense.
Posted by: Horace LaBadie | March 20, 2013 at 05:36 PM
Now he couldn't beat up a cup of decaf.
Posted by: Bill Hudgins | March 20, 2013 at 05:43 PM
Crazy. That beard stopped bullets. He's gonna have to get a Kevlar face mask now.
Posted by: Loudmouth | March 20, 2013 at 05:53 PM
He traded The Beard (tm, FaceFur Enterprises) in for The Moobs?
Posted by: PirateBoy | March 20, 2013 at 08:21 PM
Chuck Norris' beard was so tough it could not be shaved. He had to close his lips and suck really hard. It's all inside now.
Posted by: HogsAteMySister | March 20, 2013 at 09:05 PM
Omni,
Higgs boson or the God particle. Get in the handbasket.
Posted by: MikeyVA | March 21, 2013 at 08:09 AM
I kind of agree with Betsy.
I had a beard for over 25 years and forgot why I grew it.
Then I shaved and remembered.
He's probably having some kind of buyer's remorse like I did. His razor is in some kind of trouble.
Posted by: Steve | March 21, 2013 at 10:01 AM