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March 20, 2013

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Chuck Norris shaved.

(Thanks to Mike Ester)

DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK

Seriously.

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BRIDE USING ONLY YOUR MIND

Scotland may allow Jedi to perform marriage ceremonies

(Thanks to jon harris and Alkali Bill)

YOU KNOW IT WAS TAKING ORDERS FROM A SQUIRREL

Rat suspected in Japan's nuclear plant power outage

(Thanks to The Perts)

BUT THE SNEEZES WERE INCREDIBLE

Erectile nasal spray simply 'didn't work'

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, who says "Do you have a cold, or are you just happy to see me?")

LAND OF BOLDNESS

Canada Takes on 'Social Farting'

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

KENTUCKY JUSTICE

As part of 18-year-old Austin Whaley’s punishment, Kenton District Judge Douglas Grothaus recently ordered the Covington man not to say the word “bingo” for six months.

(Thanks to Ralph)

D'OH

A man called Bart Simpson has appeared before a judge called Mr Burns.

(Thanks to Ralph)

NOBODY IS KINKIER THAN OLD MOTHER NATURE

How 'Zombie Worms' Have Sex in Whale Bones

(Thanks to marfie)

SURE

Man seen masturbating during St. Patrick's Day parade tells police he was "picking a scab"

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA LICENSE

We're gonna need a bigger truck.

53ED145ABF44332847877C7A859_h316_w628_m5_cSqUeGeUC

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THE FUNNEST PLACE ON EARTH

Three arrested and one person shot in Florida Chuck E. Cheese brawl

(Thanks to Lars Frederiksen and Jeff Meyerson)

AND WOMEN THINK THEY HAVE IT BAD, WITH THEIR CHILDBIRTH

17,616 Men Went to the ER for Zipper-Related Penis Injuries Between 2002 and 2010

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Michael Collins)

THE PRICE OF LIBERTY IS ETERNAL VIGILANCE

...the TSA cautions that a key lime pie “could be subject to some additional screening.”

(Thanks to wiredog)

 
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