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March 12, 2013

MOTHER'S DAY IS COMING

Official Cornhole Bag Key Chains

(Thanks to Daisy Loomis)

IOWA: STATE OF ROMANCE

Singles in Agriculture convention headed for Cedar Rapids

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Feel free to suggest Singles-in-Agriculture pickup lines in the comments. For example: "Is that a silo in your front 40? Or are you just happy to see me?"

WE DON'T KNOW WHY CIVILIANS ARE ALLOWED TO POSSESS THOSE THINGS

Dingus owner fined $1K

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

JERSEY

Township police dispatchers say they saw Tucker “get out of a car in the middle of Lexington Boulevard, pull up her shirt and bra, exposing her breasts while facing several security cameras.”

(Thanks to Bill Jones)

THAT'S A TWO-STROKE PENALTY

Fairway sinkhole swallows golfer at Waterloo course

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR MOBY GRAPE

Ukrainian Attack Dolphins on the Loose

(Thanks to wiredog)

'SNOWBALLS'

Cooling Underwear for Conceiving Men

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IT'S A HARD JOB

Beaver teachers in dark mood

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

HE MIGHT HAVE TO GET A TOOTER

Flatulence could lead to failing grade

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, who says "When I was in 4th grade, I was passing gas at a 12th grade level.")

JOURNALISM

Within the span of five minutes, the Associated Press’ AP Mobile app pushed breaking news text alerts to users’ devices about Justin Bieber fainting and the budding nuclear showdown on the Korean Peninsula.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

STEREOTYPE REINFORCED

Hooters Ballgirl Picks Up Live Baseball And Tosses it To Crowd

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

ATTENTION, SCIENCE-FAIR PARTICIPANTS

Analogue televisions can be transformed into solar-powered DEATH RAYS that will burn anything in its path at 2,000F

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve, who says, "Wonder if they'll let you take this on an airplane now that they've changed the rules?")

LABOR LEADER OF THE WEEK

Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Labor Leader of the Week.

(Thanks to jon harris)

COOL, DUDE

Police find marijuana in ice cream truck

(Thanks to Ralph)

HAVE A SEAT

Entrepreneur converts men's public lavatory into cafe

(Thanks to Matt Filar and Ralph)

WE DO THIS ALL THE TIME WHEN WE SKI

Dog sled racers 'can pee in their pants'

(Thanks to Jeff Jacques)

HOW ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT JOB?

Rodeo clown grew more than 1,000 marijuana plants over 6 years

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

TIME FOR A BENEFIT CONCERT

Saudi Arabia may stop beheadings over shortage of swordsmen

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins and Matt Filar)

WHO SAYS BASEBALL LACKS ACTION?

Taylor sliced his finger last week – while throwing out his gum.

(Thanks to Horace LaBadie)

 
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