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March 11, 2013

GOVERN YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY

Based on samples from more than 6000 men treated for infertility, researchers found sperm in greater numbers, with faster swimming speeds and fewer abnormalities in semen made during the winter, with a steady decline in quality from spring onward.

(Thanks to Bill Moore)

HE WAS RELEASED AFTER THE ALIENS PRODUCED VALID FLORIDA LICENSES

Driver banned after ramming police while 'chased by aliens'

This Always Works for Us: Throughout the journey Webber was sounding his horn because he believed its noise would ward off the pursuing aliens, Exeter Crown Court was told.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

STAND TALL, SUNSHINE STATE

As for the "trashiest" designation from CoEd Magazine, Key West slipped from the second spot in 2012 to No. 9 this year -- good news, when you think about it. CoEd's ranking criteria considers the presence of one or more Hooters restaurants; how many strip clubs, tattoo parlors and liquor stores there are; whether the city hosts an annual motorcycle week; and whether film crews from "Girls Gone Wild" produce footage there.Las Vegas kept its top spot for the second year in a row. Florida is well represented on the list as Daytona Beach, Orlando, Miami, Panama City Beach, Fort Myers and Tampa all made the top 15.

(Thanks to funny man)

ATTENTION, BACON PEOPLE

More than 2,800 dead pigs have been found in a major river that flows through Shanghai

(Thanks to Michael Ester and Bill Moore)

FINALLY, A PRACTICAL USE FOR HERRING SPERM

Normally, cotton fabrics are highly flammable. But when scientists tried to set fire to cotton coated with herring sperm DNA, the fabric refused to burn, the team reported in Journal of Materials Chemistry A.

(Thanks to Steve @ Secret Location)

PARENTHOOD

Baby's ultrasound looks just like evil Star Wars emperor Palpatine

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

A FLORIDA LICENSE...

...is on the way.

Subway_310

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

FILM PROFESSIONAL OF THE WEEK

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Film Professional of the Week.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SOME OF US WOULD ACTUALLY PREFER TO HAVE OUR GOVERNMENT EMPLOIYEES SPEND THEIR DAYS THIS WAY

A fed-up Italian mayor has pulled the plug on the internet in council offices after discovering employees spent the working day trawling porn sites.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

IN MIAMI, HE WOULD SURVIVE FOR MAYBE 45 SECONDS

Day or night, rain, snow or shine, whenever an errant driver gets in his way, Volkov rams his bus into the offending vehicle without apology -- and records it all on his dashboard camera.

IT WILL ALSO BE PERMITTED TO JOIN A FRATERNITY

Grand Valley State University has reached a $40,000 settlement with a student who sued to keep a guinea pig in a campus apartment for emotional support.

(Thanks to Omniskeptic)

BE ADVISED

If you’re an alleged burglar a full face skull tattoo is probably not a good idea

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

INCREDIBLY, ETC.

A 70-year-old man in eastern Sweden was given a shock at the weekend when he was awoken by a young man who managed to creep into his bed after a night of heavy drinking.

(Thanks to Johan in Sweden)

THIS WOULD VASTLY IMPROVE GOLF

A soccer match is invaded by a marten.

AP20374415013

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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