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February 04, 2013

ATTENTION, STEVEN SPIELBERG

Paramedics say they have been called out to treat as many guinea pig bites as they have shark attacks in NSW over summer.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

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I investigated animal bites for over 22 years. In my cases, at least 95% were instigated in some way by the human victim.
What is the best general advice I can give to avoid being bitten?
Don't be an ass.
This also works as a general life rule.

Alos, don't stick you finger anyplace where it is not invited.

Just sayin'.

So guinea pigs are NSFNSW?

What?

Now, when my daughter asks "Can't we PLEEEEEEEASE have a water buffalo??" again, I will have plenty of information to back up my refusal.

Larry:
Everybody's got a water buffalo.
Yours is fast but mine is slow.
Oh, where we get them, I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffalo!
I took my buffalo to the store,
Got his head stuck in the door,
Spilled some lima beans on the floor,
Oh, everybody's got a...
Dr. Archibald: Stop it. Stop! Stop right this instant! What do you think
you're doing?! You can't say everybody's got a water buffalo when everybody
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net -]
does NOT have a water buffalo! We're going to get nasty letters saying,
"Where's my water buffalo? Why don't I have a water buffalo?" And are you
prepared to deal with that? I don't think so! Just stop being so silly!
Narrator: This has been silly songs with Larry. Join us next time to hear
Larry sing:
Everybody's got a baby kangaroo.
Yours is pink, but mine is blue.
Hers was small but then it...
Dr. Archibald: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

Guinea pig = rat.

my sister has guinea pigs. for the life of me, i do not know why. rats.

I hear they're tasty.

( Cue " Jaws " theme music seven octaves higher. )

@NMUA - definitely one of my favorites.

We're gonna need a bigger...

Nope. Got noth'en.

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