Dave Barry's Blog

NOTED

Unlike many other reptiles and mammals, alligators sport permanently erect penises that hide inside their bodies, new research reveals.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WE LIVE IN EXCITING FINANCIAL TIMES

Trillions of dong ready to be pumped into stock market

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SUDDENLY WE ARE NOT LAUGHING

Pollution which is 'shrinking' otter penises could be affecting humans too

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

JESUS SIGHTINGS UPDATE

Now: bird droppings.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

BUT WHAT IF IT'S A CONSENTING... OH, WAIT, NEVER MIND

Bill would punish sheepherders who go on the lam

(Thanks to craig Roberts)

WOMEN

Do not mess with them.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

HOW CAN WE CONTRIBUTE?

NASA Offers To Help Justin Bieber Perform Concert In Space

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

A FLORIDA LICENSE IS ETC.

Car crashes into opticians in Kent

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Related item: In Miami, we call this "parking."

(Also thanks to Jeff)

AW

Lawyer trapped, forgotten inside San Diego-area jail

(Thanks to Ralph)

ONE MAN'S OPINION

I am no expert, but if all these federal agencies agree that sequestration is a bad idea, it's probably a good idea.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR BLISTERED FINGERS

A resident on the 600 block of S. Carlin Springs Road told officers that someone stole a chicken from her crock pot as it was cooking.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE ARE SHOCKED, SHOCKED

'Bikini baristas' accused of serving more than just coffee

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

AT LEAST WE STILL HAVE THE PYTHONS

With its violent crimes, high unemployment, dwindling population and financial crisis, Detroit was named on Thursday as the most miserable city in the United States.  It toppled Miami, which held the title last year...

(Thanks to jon harris)

AND THE SO-CALLED 'UNITED NATIONS' DOES NOTHING

Chemicals linked to problems with otters' penis bones

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR CIVILIANS TO POSSESS THOSE THINGS

Woman held for Furby attack on boyfriend

(Thanks to Ralph)