Dave Barry's Blog

CLASSY!

A New York mother has been charged with five counts of endangering the welfare of a child after she allegedly hired two strippers to perform lap dances on the guests at her son’s 16th birthday party.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

MEN, WOMEN AND HOUSEWORK: A BAD COMBINATION

A man told them his female roommate accused him of not cleaning the toilet and threatened to spray him in the face with “Awesome” — a cleaning agent.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THANKS

...but we'll stick with water.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

'STARCATCHER' UPDATE

Peter and the Starcatcher, which is (and I can say this, because I didn't write it) a wonderfully entertaining show, is moving to a new theater.  Performances will resume Monday, March 18.

NORTH DAKOTA: STATE OF ROMANCE

Man stabbed after refusing to change positions during threesome

(Thanks to Dave Cohn, who says "It's never like this in the movies!")

WOMEN

Do NOT mess with them.

Related item here.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

PRACTICAL FASHION

The leggings start to break apart as the wearer moves throughout the day — until the pants fall off...entirely.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

SO IT'S OK TO BLOW YOUR MORTGAGE PAYMENT IN VEGAS

Scientists are still sorting out the details of last year's discovery of the Higgs boson particle, but add up the numbers and it's not looking good for the future of the universe, scientists said Monday.

(Thanks to jon harris)

SENIOR PROBLEMS

"The altercation appears to have been started over the fact that one resident was upsetting another by (selling Avon and disrupting) the scheduled bingo event that occurs," he said.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

FLORIDA PYTHON CHALLENGE FINAL RESULT

The pythons definitely won.

Update Reminding Us Why Florida Should Not Be Allowed To Participate in Any Event That Requires Declaring A Winner: Python-sized problem: Wrong winner named in Florida Everglades hunt

(Thanks to Howard from Broward)