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January 22, 2013

THEY'RE ESPECIALLY TROUBLESOME WHEN THEY GET BEHIND THE WHEEL

Loose lemurs cause havoc in North Miami Beach

(Thanks to Matt Filar, who says he saw the Loose Lemurs open for the Stone Poneys)

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I saw them open for The Monkeys, before they realized they were not related.

Do they wear fish-net stockings and blood-red lipstick?
'Cause I'd pay to see that.

Where I come from, we call them "fallen lemurs".

Where I come from, JUST, we call them "lemurs of the evening."

"Oh, oh! Courtesan! Oh, aren't we grand? Harlot's not good enough for us, eh? Paramour, concubine, fille de joix, that's what we're not. Well, listen to me, my fine fellow, you are a bit of tail!"

"Attention all units: lemurs on the loose. Detain and report."

"Aye Aye, Sir."

"No, Ringtails."

Loose Lemurs Sink Ships

Major zoological snork for Ralph!

I'm very fond of lemurs, especially ringtails. Sometime back, Mrs. O. who was aware of this enthusiasm got me one of those adopt-an-animal things from the Detroit Zoo, and the animal was one of their ringtails. The next weekend we went up there on a cold rainy and snowy day to see the critter. When we got there, naturally all the lemurs were inside, standing around the coffee pot in the break room, and the outside viewing area was completely deserted. We stood there for a few minutes, and suddenly one single ringtail bolted out of the little access door, ran three times around the area, and ducked back in again.

It took about 30 seconds, and then I cracked up completely, because it was an exact animal analog to the way most of our project briefings went. I could almost hear what was going on inside the lemur house: "Holy Moses, the sponsor's here! Somebody get out there, and give him a briefing!" The only thing missing was a PowerPoint deck.

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