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January 23, 2013

IT WAS ACTING SUSPICIOUS

Security guard in hospital after shooting off penis

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Comments

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He aspires to the goal of one day being allowed to carry a bullet.

This event has been quite a setback.

did he accidentally cock his gun before he gunned his, um, self?

I hope he read it its rights first or there's going to be legal trouble.

not a crack shot

Don't go running off half-cocked.

Not Jack Bauer, obviously.

Firearm Safety Lesson: De-cock, or be de-cocked.

However ... the head (!) line is misleadingly inaccurate (!) ... no reference to the poor bloke actually being a "security guard" ...

A TSA employee no doubt. NO wait, they have no dicks.

If penises (penii?) were allowed to carry hand guns this would have never happened. Keep your cock gunned, that's my motto.

Gives "abusing one's self" a much deeper meaning.

And what about the other case where the guys were liming? Sounds dangerous. Aren't there laws about doing that? There should be. I assume. I have no idea what it might be. I even looked it up in the dictionary, but none of the definitions fit the context. No matter. You won't catch me liming in public, no sir.

JD: i think 'liming' leaves a ring in the toilet bowl......

hey, wait a minute....

He's a little mixed up on the Rifleman's Creed.

And now he has nothing to go with.

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