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January 04, 2013

'FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN'

"He wants ketchup on the Philly cheese steak and I have never put -- we don't even have ketchup at Subway -- I've never put ketchup on anybody's sandwich," said Ordone.

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Heather Lubay and Jeff Meyerson)

Comments

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"WFTV found out his case might be forwarded to the State Attorney's Office to determine whether or not to prosecute him."

I first read that as "WTFTV". Which would have been a perfect fit.

Oddly enuf (well, perty odd frum MY personal POV, ennyway), I had a similar experience (without the threat of actual violence) in SoCal once ... co-werker & I stopped fer a mid-afternoon lunch break @ a sandwich (non-franchise/chain-type) ... I ferigt whut it wuz, might've been a variation of a BLT, & when asked whit I wanted on it, I tlad her ...
"That's ALL?!?!?!" she blurted? "No mayo?!?!?!"
Sorry, I don't really care for it much, and can get along quite well without it ... (peanut butter, OTOH, is quite tasty on a BLT) ...
She gave me a look that had me wonderin' if she wuz gonna call the guys to fit me fer a long-sleeved jacket with a buckle in back ...

I went with a friend to pick up lunch from a local Southern California Mexican fast-food chain a few years ago. This chain was known for their steep discount on "Taco Tuesday", when you could buy six tacos for the price of four.

Counter: "Hi! Can I help you?"

Car: "Yes, I'd like to order six tacos please."

Counter: "Sorry, you can't have six tacos. Would you like anything else?"

Car: "No, all I want is six tacos."

Counter: "We can't sell you six tacos."

Car: "Why? Are you sold out?"

Counter: "Nope."

Car "Then why can't I get six tacos?"

Counter: "Because today isn't Tuesday."

Really, PirateBoy. Don't you know that the other six days, you have to place three separate orders for two tacos each? Sheesh! Customers these days!

I shudder to think what would have happened if our Dave had been in this situation and the "sandwich artist" had pulled a bottle of ketchup out of a refrigerator.

Not like it's actually in Philly. Ask for ketchup there and you might wake up 3 days later covered in it.

He won't get far on footlong.

Now, now no fighting.

The hot dog Nazis in Chicago -- you know the guys who insist on putting an entire salad on a bun and hiding a hot dog somewhere in it -- have the same prejudices. Lord help you if you put ketchup on anything.

Mikey likes it. Stuff Philly.

Ketchup on a hot dog? Barbarian!

*shudder*

My favorite restaurant experience happened up Nawth someplace. Went into a family style restaurant like Howard Johnson's or the like. Asked for coconut pie and the waitress comes back with a slice of pie. I took a bite and it was just pie. No coconut. I asked the waitress why there was no coconut in my pie.
"Didn't have none" was the frank response. Loved this story and got a lot of mileage out of it.
No fighting just total amazement of the absurdity of the situation, then laughter for many years afterwards.

I ate lunch in Ontario once and ordered tea (no coffee, for some reason). Following my natural inclination, I opened three or four sugar packets and poured them in.
I was having trouble getting them to dissolve. Then the waitress came over.
"We noticed your accent," she said,"so your tea's already sweet."
Best tea-flavored syrup I ever had.

I am "quoting" from FEDERAL LAW 84N, Section 23, Row 4, Seat 6.

Ahem.

Thou shalt NOT put ketchup on Philly Cheese. Also Steak. Amen

Good thing it wasn't in New York. Under the new Bloomberg Law you could get 20 years to life for ketchup on a Philly Cheese Steak, and LWOP (Life Without Parole) if you add a 20 ounce Coke with that.

People who put ketchup on a Philly cheesesteak DESERVE to have chairs thrown at them.

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