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January 05, 2013

EVERYONE INVOLVED WAS ISSUED A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Ontario Police chief Mark Alexander says an elderly driver parked their white 1992 Oldsmobile Cutlass at the Red Apple parking lot Sunday evening and left the keys inside. Sometime later, an elderly couple mistakenly got inside the Cutlass, Alexander said, and took the vehicle home.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

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It really isn't your grandfather's Oldsmobile.

My girlfriend, now wife, got into the wrong VW Bug when we left a restaurant.
And I still married her.
Now she drives a car that honks the second time you zap the doors locked.
And she still loses her car.

I once rented a van on a business trip where I drove five other people to a meeting. We stopped for some food and then emerged to find an identical van parked right next to ours. It was open, and three of our party climbed into the back after easing their ways right past a baby seat. They buckled up and gave me strange looks as I shook my head repeatedly and got into the other (our) van. They quickly figured out what happened and got out, and we laughed for the next ten minutes without saying a single word.

I once owned a white Honda Civic hatchback (with gas almost $4 a gallon, I wish I still did...). One night, after having dinner and a couple of drinks, I left a restaurant, unlocked my car and got inside. At which point I realized there's a lot of stuff in here that isn't mine. And it had a different radio. Hey! Where's my CD player? And... oh, crap! This isn't my car!

What are the odds that another white Honda Civic hatchback that had the exact same key would be parked at the same restaurant as mine? It happened. My friends were witnesses... and were laughing at me.

That's not just an Oldsmobile, that's a REALLY Oooooooooooooldsmobile.

And stay off both their lawns.

I'm currently driving an old vehicle of my sister's, which is quite possibly the most nondescript car on the planet. I can't count the number of times I've walked past it in the parking lot or mistaken another car for it. Clean Hands and his wife witnessed this when we all went to the movies the other night; they laughed at me incessantly.

Ahhh, Alzheimer's. A new car every day.

I realized that Inwas in the wrong tan Mazda GLC when I saw that it was an automatic.

They were lucky it wasn't zucchini season or both cars would be filled.

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