Dave Barry's Blog

AND IS IMMEDIATELY AWARDED A FEDERAL GRANT

Man who built Stamford's 5ft tall snow penis owns up

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY, IN FLORIDA, THE POLICY IS: NOBODY EVER FAILS

Police say a 21-year-old woman tried to run over her instructor with her car after she failed her driving test.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody and Jeff Meyerson)

THEN HOW DO THEY EXPLAIN THE KARDASHIANS?

You don't exist in an infinite number of places, say scientists

(Thanks to Rich Steurer)

NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF THIS

Star Trek style 'tractor beam' created by scientists

(Thanks to Loudmouth)

'SIR, THE SPEED LIMIT IS 45. I CLOCKED YOU AT 14.'

Bill To Set Limit For Driving While Stoned Has A Good Chance

(Thanks to Loudmouth)

NOT A PROBLEM!

The Chicago Public Schools system has apologized for sending an email to parents that included a typo in a web link that sent them to an erotic website as a result.

(Thanks to Loudmouth)

WE NEED ALL UNITS TO GET DOWNWIND IMMEDIATELY

Firefighters discover pot grow operation in burning home

(Thanks to B'game, who says, "I lost my breathing gear.  We need to go back in there and make sure that nobody is trapped!  Dude, call the chief and ask if he can order some pizza.")