Dave Barry's Blog

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT APPARENTLY WAS INVOLVED

A woman has to be rescued by firefighters after she gets stuck in her son's high chair.

(Thanks to Mag Last)

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

PAGING PAUL HOGAN

About 15,000 crocodiles have reportedly escaped from a farm in South Africa's far north amid heavy rains and flooding.

(Thanks to wiredog, Alkali Bill and Jay Brandes)

HE HAD SOUND MEDICAL REASONS

Doctor accused of urinating on dentist office door

(Thanks to Poker)

THAT CLEARS *THAT* UP

"I would argue it's a chicken egg if it has a chicken in it. If a kangaroo laid an egg from which an ostrich hatched, that would surely be an ostrich egg, not a kangaroo egg. By this reasoning, the first chicken did indeed come from a chicken egg, even though that egg didn't come from chickens."

(Thanks to The Perts)

WE STILL HAVE A FEW FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS LEFT

Appeals court agrees: No DWI charge for Medina Segway driver

(Thanks to Tash)

THE CANADIAN FORESKIN AWARENESS PROJECT TAKES ACTION

Oprah protested for endorsing face cream made from foreskins

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

HO-HUM

Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates

(Thanks to Ralph, C Jon Johnson and Jan Crozier)

THEY ALSO LOVE LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH, AND ARE IN FAVOR OF WORLD PEACE

In the calendar, a long-haired brunette poses on a commode with pink lace panties stretched across her booted ankles. Another lies on grass, cupping her breasts while worms crawl through a patch of inky dirt piled over her nether regions. Still another crouches near a banana tree, her outstretched arms covering her bare chest as she lifts rotting fruit peels. Each photo is accompanied by a brief biography of the featured girl. All of the models were chosen because of their work on environmental issues.

THE STRUMPETING BEGINS

This just in: Dave wrote a book.

Reuters

North Jersey

Fort Worth 1

Fort Worth 2

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Cricket fans set beer snake record at Australia-Sri Lanka SCG washout

(Thanks to Ralph)

TERROR STALKS THE STREETS OF ELYRIA

Police in Ohio said a woman previously arrested for breaking into homes to clean them was arrested while shoveling strangers' driveways.

(Thanks to Ralph

HORN-TOOTING

Here's another review of Insane City, which by the way is going on sale Tuesday.

'WITH A STRONG GRIP'

Patient charged with fighting paramedics, squeezing their testicles

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

German soldiers are growing breasts

(Thanks to Bill Moore and Peter Metrinko)