Dave Barry's Blog

YIKES

The Russian Hamster of Doom

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

NOW WITH EXTRA PROTEIN!

Horse DNA has been found in some beef burgers being sold in UK and Irish supermarkets, the Republic of Ireland's food safety authority (FSAI) has said.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

WHOA

Whoa.

(Thanks to Don Koury)

IF YOU'RE EVER INSTRUCTED TO STAND CLOSER TO A RHINO:

Decline.

(Thanks to Greg Snow)

WHICH OF COURSE WAS MADE AVAILABLE BY BOFFINS

Boffins discover chimpanzee is hooked on PORN

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO BASIC CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

A video prankster was arrested last night for battery after he allegedly gave wedgies to a series of victims outside a Florida movie theater, police report.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

NATURE

Man releases trapped mouse into the wild rather than exterminate it… only for hawk to swoop and kill it within seconds

(Thanks to Poker)

GUESS THE COUNTY

11:33 a.m. A Columbia Falls man shot himself in the foot. He was only willing to provide a vague account of the events leading up to the accident.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

BUT THEY SEEMED SO RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER

Kelly Hildebrandt and Kelly Hildebrandt have gone their separate ways.

(Thanks to jon harris)

IT DOESN'T MATTER

Calamari is on one side of the plate, sliced hog rectums are on the other. Which is which?

(Thanks to wiredog)

WELL OK, THEN

17 human heads found at O’Hare delivered to M.E.’s office; no foul play suspected

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

A FLORIDA TRAIN-DRIVING LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

All aboard!

(Thanks to Johan in Sweden, Jeff Meyerson, jon harris, The Perts and Omniskeptic)

THE DOWNSIDE IS, YOU DEVELOP AN OVERPOWERING URGE TO RUB YOUR LEGS TOGETHER

The latest energy bar on the market uses crickets as its protein source.

(Thanks to Monique)