Dave Barry's Blog

THAT SOUNDS REASONAB... WAIT, GONORRHEA?

Congress more popular than Kardashians, Lohan, gonorrhea

(Thanks to jon harris and Ralph)

WHICH IS SAYING A LOT

Smarter Socks - probably the smartest socks in the world

(Thanks to Ed. Floden)

EVERYONE INVOLVED, INCLUDING THE DOGS, WILL RECEIVE A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Dog-grooming truck plows into smoke shop after apparent drunken joy ride

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW THEY PLAN TO ACQUIRE NUCLEAR WEAPONS

A Soldier and His Squirrel

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Molds are able to reproduce sexually

(Thanks to RussellMc)

IF THAT'S NOT AN EMERGENCY, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IS

Train's emergency brake pulled after iPhone dropped

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

CSI: OVERLAND PARK

Overland Park Police Looking for Gorilla's Owner

(Thanks to Jonathan Taylor)

THERE ARE THINGS ON YOUTUBE THAT WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO SEE

This is one of them.

ADVISORY: Things you do not want to see. Really.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

MAYBE IT WAS BETTER WITH DRUGS

Swinging Men Of The '60s

(Thanks to jon harris)

CANADA: WILL THE TERROR NEVER END?

Alberta man offers $500 reward for return of stolen outhouse

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

'I FOUND HIM IN BED WITH A NAKED CHICK. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?'

She urinated on the carpet outside the master bedroom, defecated on the kitchen floor, grabbed a second rifle and started destroying Christmas decorations and other things.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IN A WORD, NO

Could melting tights be the latest legwear craze?

(Thanks to DaninTustin)

INCREDIBLY, THIS STORY DOES NOT INVOLVE URANUS

Monster Black Hole Burp Surprises Scientists

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

EW

With the A-Tube installed, whenever you eat a meal where you think you've overindulged, you can simply attach a small, portable device called an AspireAssist to the Skin-Port, and pump away! Food and drink are sucked out of your stomach, just like a garden hose, albeit a garden hose full of a half-digested slurry of organic matter.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

WHY YOU SHOULD CHECK UNDER YOUR HOUSE

"I couldn't believe it. I thought, golly sakes."

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE

...you might get served by a naked waitress.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

CLEARLY THIS WAS SOME KIND OF DIVERSION

Fire crews rescue grey squirrel from Watford pond

(Thanks to Monique)

STEP ONE: WASH YOUR HANDS

The publishing arm of the Harvard Medical School is planning a series of short, original e-books on work, parenting, yoga and how to be a surgeon.

(Thanks to The Perts)

TIME FOR STRICT FEDERAL CONTROLS

Ore. Woman: Boyfriend Choked Her With Dreadlocks

(Thanks to Matt Filar and Craig Roberts)

CANADA: LAND OF CONGENIALITY

Stanley Cup riot guilty plea entered by ex-beauty queen

(Thanks to The Perts)