Dave Barry's Blog

'FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN'

"He wants ketchup on the Philly cheese steak and I have never put -- we don't even have ketchup at Subway -- I've never put ketchup on anybody's sandwich," said Ordone.

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Heather Lubay and Jeff Meyerson)

FINE BY US

Brigitte Bardot threatens to seek Russian passport in protest over France's treatment of two circus elephants

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

GIANT RUBBER DUCK UPDATE

It's in Sydney.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who observes, "If it made it to Miami it would be machine-gunned in seconds.") 

TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE

Man shoots collection of Dale Earnhardt memorabilia after death of pet snake

(Thanks to James in NC)

CSI: MASSACHUSETTS

Off-duty Newton police get caught egging house in Framingham

(Thanks to Jay Brandes and Poker)

WE'LL JUST HAVE A BURGER

Doctor eats world's hottest curry… and it's so violent he gets hallucinations and chefs have to wear goggles to make it

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE HAVE A GOVERNMENT

Government to demonstrate how $90K could be hidden in pants in Kilpatrick corruption trial

(Thanks to Omniskeptic)