Dave Barry's Blog

BUT THE BULLET WAS INTERCEPTED

Angry Cowboys Fan Fills Washing Machine With Explosives, Fires Rifle At It Just To Blow Up Tony Romo Jersey

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

OUCH

Sausages seized as police make arrests in Parry Sound wild game dispute

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

COLLEGE STUDENTS:

Ask the Cougar

(Thanks to Bob Beavan)

TODAY'S BUSINESS NEWS

Spam bought Skippy.

This has been Today's Business News.

(Thanks to The Perts)

CSI: SEATTLE

Officers found the man, who said he wasn’t "playing with himself," just trying to hide money in his pants, according to police.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts and B'game)

TOTALLY SELF-DEFENSE

Man Threw Manhole Cover At Car During Argument

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

SOMEBODY'S GOING TO BE GROUNDED

Two Placer County teenage girls were arrested for allegedly using drugged milkshakes to knock out the parents of one of the girls so they could log on to the Internet, Rocklin police said.

(Thanks to DaininTustin)

THANK GOODNESS HE DIDN'T HAVE A PRETEND GRENADE, OR HE'D BE IN JAIL NOW

School suspends first-grader for pointing finger, saying ‘Pow’

(Thanks to The Perts)

GUESS THE STATE

Authorities find meth in man's shorts, woman's bra and baby's shoe

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?

Drunken man 'stole a golf cart on New Year’s Eve packed with champagne and tried to drive 74 miles to his house’

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON UP THERE?

Bank Of Canada won’t discuss melting plastic bills, says national security behind silence

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

HIGHER ED

Student Studying ‘Whale Snot’ to Protect Arctic Animals

(Thanks to Monique)

URGENT CANADIAN UPDATE

Woman elated by return of suitcase full of lobster

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

CORRECTION: It turns out that this is not actually an update, but the same story that was posted yesterday, about the suitcase full of lobsters. Judi will of course be fired (JWOCBF).

THANKS, LARRY

This Robot Vomits So You Won't Have To

(Thanks to vortmax, Loudmouth, Allen at Division, Bill Moore, DaninTustin and Bill Hudgins)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS LEFT

An out-of-control man celebrating his stag-do in Queenstown was arrested after he set fire to a toilet and clothing in a pub last night.

(Thanks to Bill Moore)

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

A Georgia teenager wanted to save a parking space for a pregnant friend, so she wouldn't need to walk too far to the store. But before her friend arrived, a woman driving an SUV arrived and wanted the spot.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

TERRORISM UPDATE

Bicycle Swallowed by Tree in Washington State

(Thanks to The Perts)