WE'LL JUST HAVE THE FRIES, THEN

Your Hamburger May Have Feces Inside of It

Possible explanation here.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Comments

[Theresa]

Ewwwww, gross

[Theresa]

When I eat a steak which is a couple times a year I eat it well done and have cut done on the amount of beef throughout the year. Good thing

[Jeff Meyerson]

I'm cutting it down to zero now, Theresa.

[Riverview Dude]

cook it well!

[Ibid]

A well done steak is rare.

[Make It Rain]

"Tyson says that they have since repaired their system, adding more employees to cut down the level of fecal contamination." Um, shouldn't they be trying to ELIMINATE the fecal contamination? One rat tart without so much rat in it please.

[HogsAteMySister]

Shouldn't Tyson's be super-gluing their staff's rectums shut? I thought Dave insisted on this in a previous column?

[woozybarnes]

Just cook the sh!t out of it'

[MikeyVA]

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, feces – all on a sesame seed bun

[Steve]

As a retired health inspector, I can assure everyone that there's nothing funny I can think of about this report.
I did investigate several cases of E. coli infections in children. To my surprise, these cases were initiated by the kids playing with turtles from a local creek.
One note on evolution: at the beginning of my career, E. coli were viewed as a nearly harmless indicator that something dangerous might also be there.

[Captain Spoilsport]

I eat a medium rare NY Strip steak nearly every Sunday. I cook it myself, and I'm not going to stop now.
Sure, I could get E. coli from it. I could get e. coli from the lettuce and tomatoes I put in my salad, too. I could also fall in the shower and break my neck, get killed in a car wreck on the way to the store, get struck by lightning while lighting the grill, etc. Life is full of risks and we're all going to die from something, sometime.

[PirateBoy]

So once again McDonalds is going to cook the s$it out of their burgers, literally?

[Omniskeptic]

I can't think of anything especially funny in any story with the word "Tyson's" in it.