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December 11, 2012


The healing power of maggot slime

(Thanks to jon harris)


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I'll stay sick, thank you.

I decided early in my nursing career if they ever asked me to touch anything like this, I would quit. They never did but I quit anyway.

Didn't they open for Ozzy?

That looks like an alternate setup to the joke that ends,
"What'd the doctor say about my condition?"
"He said you're gonna die."

It hurts when I do this, doc.

All together now, "well don't do that."

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

No matter what, I always stop reading when I get to the word " secretions ".

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