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December 19, 2012

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

SALEM, N.H. —Six people were taken into custody Sunday in Salem after a fight broke out at the Mall at Rockingham Park over a parking space.

(Thanks to Poker and Monique)

Comments

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Somewhere in Lexington KY is a police report on the woman who forced my wife out of a Mall parking space.
She was saving it for our daughter who was going around to get it.
The woman used her car bumper to move my wife out of the way.
I was surprised that it could be done with less than a Hummer or an M1 tank.
My wife has military-grade determination when she wants something.

I've seen security videos of that happening, Steve. It usually happens when someone "dive bombs" a space that someone else was "patiently" waiting for. A lifetime of mysterious dents and "door dings" has trained me to park out away from the mall entrance, and well away from other "patient" shoppers...

That is why I shop on line.

Oh, and I hate people.

Whenever anyone steals my parking space I just try to remember that it is the Christmas season. A time for peace and goodwill towards all men. Then after they go in the store, I slash their tires. Ho,ho,ho.

It's so true but isn't it sad that people have to be such idiots during the holiday season. Lucky someone didn't get shot over it. I wear my Rudolph antlers to keep people smiling during the holidays.

I hope there is a reporter present when these folks are all outside the same courtroom at the same time.

With cameras rolling, NMUA. Heh.

"Officials said all six were from Lawrence, Mass." That explains it -- in that part of Machusetts, the ass is in the driver's seat.

A few years ago as Mrs. Layzee and I were pulling into the mall parking lot a few days before Christmas, I spotted a woman who worked in my office and her husband waiting with their turn signal on to pull into a soon-to-be-vacated space. The husband is a police officer who doesn't have the longest fuse.

Because we were in the Mrs. car I knew we wouldn't be recognized. So, as soon as the first guy pulled out of the spot I hiet the gas to start turning in. All I heard was a horn blasting and some very loud unintelligble language coming from my friend's car. I backed out and let him pull in. I just sat there. He got out of their car and started screaming in my direction. I rolled the window down and was laughing my ass off. When he saw ti was me and I was laughing he just started to laugh too. That didn't stop him from still questioning my mother's virtue, though.

Gotta love the holidays.

All together now:

Rockingham has this parking lot,
Let the Christmas fighting start.
Six wacky people tried to grab one space,
And someone had to call the cops...

Oh, little town of Rockingham,
'tis enough to make one cry.
Amongst thy sheep,
Some brainless creeps
Have let emotions fly.

Down in thy dark streets flameth
The everlasting wrath.
Our hopes and fears
Are fueled by beers.
... Oh, bloody hell. "Math?" "Sylvia Plath?" Help me out here.

Mall shopping at Christmas is my version of Hell. If it's not available online, no one is getting anything.

Omni -

Our hopes and fears
Are fueled by beers,
To brave the mall bloodbaths.

Thank yew ver' much.

Or:

Our hopes and fears
Are fueled by beers,
As we buy at Bed and Bath.
On tidings of higher interest rates,
That's what we hate.
On tidings of higher interest rates.

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