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December 14, 2012

AND NOW FOR A BREAKING UPDATE ON THE SWEDISH GIANT STRAW CHRISTMAS GOAT THAT ALWAYS GETS BURNED DOWN

It got burned down.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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Our Boy Scout Troop Motto was "if you try hard enough, anything will burn"

That's the way it goats. A blaze of goaty glory.

NMUA, not soap. I tried and tried.

"It's fun that the goat is so famous but it would also be nice if it could be left alone."
It would seem that that's the problem.
"Let's see, based on past events, we calculate a 63% probability of arson. Since we went to an American school, we can see that that's less than one in ten.
Good news, everybody, we see no need for anyone to stay out in the cold guarding the goat!"

I'd switch to an alpaca figure and see if that helps.

Sumbuddy needs to attend more GRA* meetings ... merely sayin' ...

*Goat Roasters Anonymous

(NO! Not "Goat Ropers"! That's an entirely different joke!)

You'd think there'd be some government-approved, cancer-causing flame retardant they could treat it with.

Welcome to Celebrity Goat Roast. I tell ya, that goat is so dumb ...

That settles it! Next year we're getting an ALUMINUM bocken! Tradition be damned!

I wondered why the tweets I was receiving from the goat ended up in a scream... three days ago, his hooves (?) were toasted. The tweet claimed they "smelled like petrol", which I take to mean "goat gas".

Who burned the bocken? Who, who, who, who?

Get the government involved:

A it won't even look like a goat anymore

B it wouldn't burn even if you covered it in gas first

C in a few years nobody will even remember what the whold thing was about

D who really cares

By proclamation the Swedish straw goat shall henceforth be known as "Kenny the Goat"


Why oh why can't this happen to Jerry Jones?

Apparently, they tried both round the clock guards and cancerous flame retardant, but the guards got cold one year and skipped off to a nearby pub for hot cocoa and beer. And, meanwhile, the obvious happened. As for the flame retardant, in 2008, "Anna Östman, spokesperson of the Goat-committee said the repellent made it look ugly in the previous years, like a brown terrier". The goat burned to a crisp the next day. No one knows for sure whether Östman did it, but I haven't seen her alibi.

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