Dave Barry's Blog

FLORIDA WILDLIFE UPDATES:

Vultures pick at visitors' cars in Fla Everglades

(Thanks to B'game)

Ranger, there's a python trying to get into my tent! Family discover 17ft snake on Everglades camping trip

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

A Florida woman is jailed on a battery rap for allegedly striking her boyfriend after he “finished first and stopped pleasuring her” during a mutual oral sex session late last night in the victim’s home, police report.

Advisory: Raunch.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, Jeff Meyerson and DaninTustin)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO BASIC CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

A La Crosse man was cited for disorderly conduct on Christmas Eve after a neighbor witnessed him dancing naked in his window.

Incredibly, etc.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

A Homestead woman was arrested Wednesday, charged with setting fire to a mattress as her ex-boyfriend and another woman slept on it.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Justin Bieber has apparently been forgiven by the California Hamster Association (CHA) for giving away his pet hamster.

(Thanks to Ralph)

TOTALLY LEGAL EXCUSE

Woman arrested for drunk-driving after she crashes through police barricade says she can't be jailed as she is due in court the next day - for drunk driving

Incredibly, this did not happen in Florida.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SO HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

Workers wear panda costumes smeared with urine to release cub into wild

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

LOOKING BACK ON 2012

Whap.